Emotional Equilibrium: Tips to Achieve Success Whilst Staying Happy & Healthy.
Do you ever feel:
like you’re drowning?
that the pressure is relentless, and that if you don’t answer every email, Whatsapp, or work request, then it will all just pile up until it buries you?
that you have constant performance anxiety to prove you’re being productive all the time, even though, and especially because, people can’t see you working from home?
that your life is a fluctuation between two extremes of either 100 miles an hour or catatonic stupor?
that you’re unable to switch-off, and that your mind is like a bag of frogs? And whilst you want to cram a weeks’ worth of fun into your day off, you only have the energy to binge-watch Netflix?
If so, I can relate...
My life has been a constant juggle to balance the need for outer success and inner peace. This has taken me on a journey that has encompassed meditation, spiritual endeavors, studying Buddhism, and finally, learning to become a holistic executive and life coach.
My P.E.A.C.E. Framework
I would like to share some of the insights and strategies I have gained in this time, in the hope that it will help you to stay happy, healthy, and focused, no matter what life throws at you.
P = PERSPECTIVE. Articulate what long-term success means to you. Is it to earn enough money to have a work-life balance, to spend time with your family, or to be able to take great vacations? If so, remember that. Use it as a yard-stick to remember the bigger picture and to course-correct when needed, so you don’t get sucked into the vortex of always working.
For me, the following quote is a great reminder. The Dalai Lama, when asked what surprised him most about humanity said …
“Man. Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices his money to recuperate his health.”
E - ENERGY CONSERVATION. Get intentional with your energy. You can use my worksheet below as a template but in a nutshell, list out what gives you energy and what drains it under key categories e.g. habits, thoughts, beliefs, people, environments, etc. Select two from the “give me energy” list and commit to doing more of it this week. Similarly, select two from the “drain my energy” list and strike them both out from your life - at least for this week. Then notice what happens to your health, wellbeing, and happiness.
A - AWARENESS OF YOUR BODY. Your body knows what it’s doing. It grows you from womb to tomb without any conscious help. So listen to it! Eat when you’re hungry. Sleep when you’re tired. And when your body tells you to switch off your device and give your brain some rest, do so.
Emotions are the interface between your body and mind. Where there is misalignment, your emotions will let you know. They will start by knocking softly, then louder, then louder still. And if you keep on ignoring or suppressing, they will eventually kick the door down. Don’t wait that long.
But if that does happen, remember that emotions are neither good nor bad. They are purely data. You are not your emotions. They are simply trying to call your attention to a root cause that needs to be noticed, addressed, and/or released. If facing emotions is too painful, frightening, or overwhelming, get help. But please no more ignoring.
C - CHILL: Our brains are hardwired to threat. Whilst we’re no longer on the African planes, our mind doesn’t know this and perceives threats in uncertainty, slights to status, injustice, etc. For example, take a moment to think about a recent situation where you felt threatened or slighted. Then notice your reaction.
Just the THOUGHT of the STORY ABOUT the threat creates a physiological response. This gets compounded by the constant narrative loop in our brains where we exaggerate, justify, and amplify our position, keeping us in fight or flight mode. Add 24/7 work and media melodrama pinging at us from the phones that follow us everywhere, then it’s little wonder that adrenal fatigue is so rife.
So take time to chill. This allows you to move from automatic-pilot mode, operating out of your hindbrain from a space of habit and reactivity to your prefrontal cortex - the conscious space at the front of your brain where you can be discerning, insightful, and proactive. In other words, you are more creative, resourceful, and strategic with a well-rested brain.
E = EGOIC NARRATIVE: Watch your self-talk! Your brain takes you at your word and creates that as a reality. So start noticing what you say about yourself.
Have you noticed that when your gremlins start self-criticizing - it’s an auditory process? It’s called a “voice in your head” for a reason. In contrast to your higher self / conscious / superego (call it what you will), your gremlins favor ongoing narrative. This narrative is always judgemental, and always self-centered. Everything is about “me” and how “I AM ...” as if you are absolute, fixed, and non-changeable. It then trails off into a whole litany of stories to indulge its fiction.
So try to catch yourself when your egoic narrative starts to circulate and:
don’t identify with the emotion you’re hearing - just note that “anger is happening” rather than I AM angry, I AM helpless, I AM useless, etc.
just observe the feelings without indulging, resisting, repressing, or trying to solve them.
When you begin noticing your egoic narrative, you can start to make mindful choices around the scripts you're running (or that are running you). Once that happens, you are on the way to re-writing your own destiny.
I hope this helps. I’d love to hear what comes up for you!
P.S. I created this framework as part of a talk I gave to SaaSsy Women in Sales this September. You can see the full talk below.